Friday, October 9, 2009

An Exorcism

The Demon


[As a recap, the Phaal Challenge at Brick Lane requires participants to eat a whole bowl of the Phaal Curry. If they are successful, they get a certificate and a free beer]


You have to respect marathon runners. They compete in a sport whose only objective is to see who can put up with the most misery over the course of 26 miles. No thrills, no distractions, just a grueling two hour grind as you feverishly await the finish line.

This is also how I would describe the Phaal Curry at Brick Lane.

It comes in a sixteen ounce bowl. The sauce is a deep brown and has a thinner consistency than most curries. The smell is kind of similar to SMAACMS, in that it has that same same lingering sour plum scent to it. And yes, it is damn spicy. Hotter than the ma paul. Hotter than the Pork on Fire or Jungle Curry. But even so, the hotness is manageable in moderation. Everyone who ordered the Phaal agreed that the first few bites of chicken are actually pretty tasty.

But having fought in the trenches, let me tell you - the Phaal's first secret weapon is that it accumulates. The hotness is manageable at first, but it does not abate, and each subsequent bite pours extra gasoline on the fire. Thank god for the mango lassi, a miraculous mango and yogurt frozen drink that helps you forget about the inferno for a few seconds.

Oh, and the Phaal's second secret weapon? INSURGENT TACTICS! Phaal, once in your stomach, lays low for a few minutes, establishing sympathy with local gastric juices and probably handing out pamphlets or something. Then, just when you think you might be able to win the Challenge, the Phaal you've already eaten declares its independence from you and tries to establish its own sovereign state within your digestive tract. This is not a pleasant feeling.

So a few bites after you start, you're already embroiled in a two-front war -- the sea of flames where your mouth used to be and the guerrilla warfare in your belly. There are other interesting physiological changes as well. Your hands and feet tingle slightly, as though they had all fallen asleep at once. Probably because all the blood from your extremities has rushed to heal the open wound in your stomach.

Also, check out the picture at the top of this post. Note how the sauce almost touches the rim and how its surface isn't broken by chunks of protruding chicken. That's because there were maybe 6 pieces of meat in there and the rest of the bowl is that hellish sauce. And to win the challenge, you have to eat the whole thing, sauce included. This presents a quandary - how do I eat the sauce? Put it over rice? Cut the chicken in to little bites and eat it that way? Or just take my spoon, dunk it in there, and eat it like soup?

Well, four of us tried the Phaal Challenge, and we each used our own approach. Isil ate a piece of chicken with each bite and she finished first. In fact, I was about 50% done, sweating and hallucinating when she casually spooned the last bit of phaal on to her plate. So evidently that way works best.

An interesting characteristic of really spicy food is that a few bites make you feel full. So after two bites of Phaal chicken, I felt stuffed and realized that I would never finish the bowl if I ate a lot of rice. So tried a different route: I braced myself, gulped 3 spoonfuls of pure sauce, and then sat back gasping and twitching. After a 5 minute break, I did it again. And then I did it four more times. After the last one, I stood up from the table and walked to the bathroom to splash some water on my face.

Honestly, I wanted to quit right then and there. But Isil had already finished, and Paul was well on his way. Only Jordan and I were struggling. I came back to the table and feebly polished off the last of the bowl. Unfortunately, Jordan had poured his over rice, and thus had a huge mound of phaal-soaked starch he would need to slog through in order to finish. He threw in the towel, and I can't blame him.

Later, when my free beer came, I couldn't even drink it. I just went back to my apartment, curled up in the fetal position, and waited.

Twenty four hours later, I could finally put the experience behind me. I won't go in to detail about the event the next day that capped off the journey, but let's just say it felt exactly like the title of this post.


Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Day of Reckoning


I have a confession to make. For a long time, I've had a good idea of what is most likely the hottest dish in New York, but I've been postponing the trip because I wanted to build up my tolerance first.

Check out the following video:

http://www.eatmedaily.com/2009/01/the-phaal-challenge-at-brick-lane-curry-house-on-man-v-food-video/

The Phaal Curry from Brick Lane is legendary, but what really impressed me in the video is that the guy is wearing a GAS MASK as he makes the sauce. In any case, I'll be taking the Phaal Challenge this Thursday. To practice, I've been taking a daily dose of SMAACMS with dinner each night (and inevitably paying for it several hours later). Wish me luck!